There comes a point in each journey, when we must become invisible to the world in order to become transparent to ourselves.
Only then will we know if we’re ready to show up…after we’ve learned that, there will be no babies to kiss, hands to shake, or photographers to capture our better side…
Only then will we know if we’re willing to keep our appointments with the good deeds that will never be documented as ‘well done’…
Only then will we know if it’s in us to humbly work behind the stage of applauds and accolades…
When the perception of ‘self’ becomes so occupying…
Who are we really serving?
It is always the secure who are humble. ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Everything they do is done for men to see.. ~Matthew 23:5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the late great Martin Luther King Jr.!!
- How To Make Martin Luther King Jr’s Dream A Reality With Kids (bagladyboutiqe.wordpress.com)
- Salute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (praiserichmond.com)
- Photos: Martin Luther King: A Life in Pictures (abcnews.go.com)
to the roots I’ve renounced
Just let awareness have its way with you completely. ~Scott Morrison
A Course in Miracles, A Return to Love, eye of the storm, faith, God, Hurricane Sandy, inspiration, Intimate relationship, life's lesson, nature, photography, relationships, self-reflection, soulmate, weathering the storm, Winter storm
I remember encountering countless storms, in which I would be one of the only few people out and about, risking my life, as I roamed the streets looking for company and entertainment. Restless..I couldn’t sit still with myself..the thought of mother nature forcing me to remain behind a closed door of loneliness made me claustrophobic.
As I sit in reflection during Hurricane Sandy..I think back to the storm of 2010 that changed my life. According to the weather reports, the snow was to start at around 9 PM. I hurried home after work, to pack my bags, for I had planned to stay with this guy I used to see on & off for the past three years…never mind the fact that he didn’t even pretend to be interested in me…or faithfully committed. Yet at the time, I really didn’t love myself. I was unable to realize he only reflected back to me my distorted self perception
A little after 7PM the snow fell, and it began to stick to the ground rather quickly, I had barely got home and hadn’t even began to pack. My intended destination usually took about 30 minutes in route which consisted of neighborhoods, highways, and streets with stop lights…I knew it would be foolish to go considering the road conditions, however, I couldn’t help but to become angry. I felt trapped, I had no where to run to.
Long story short, the next few days indoors literally changed my life. I had no where to go but ‘in’…I discovered parts of me that I had buried in denial. I read, wrote, reflected, meditated..I befriended myself..for the 1st time ever. I immediately entered a period of celibacy from both sex and dating. In the midst of the storm the old me began to die, and by the Spring, it became evident to the people in my life that while they were hibernating, a beautiful transformation had transpired.
After that long bout of celibacy, I finally decided to give this one guy a chance to get to know me better and likewise…he’s now my husband. I will add that, the guy who I spoke of earlier, will always have a place in my heart, I will always love him. I couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate/teacher, for that relationship was the catalyst to the search of a relationship with myself. In Marianne Willamson’s A Return to Love, she explains that when we ask God for an intimate relationship, He may send us relationships that gives us the opportunity to work through the places in ourselves that need to be healed before we’re ready for the deepest intimacy.
And so my advice to whoever is reading: Accept each storm with an open mind…knowing each storm in our life serves a purpose. So in the meantime, turn off the news, or Judge Judy and grab a book, or a board game for the family…take advantage of your immobility! There are so many treasures hidden in the eye of the storm just waiting to be discovered! Yesterday I stood outside, watching the leaves flutter in the sky, like a swarm of butterflies, nature never ceases to amaze me. Even the trees surrendered to the winds…no resistance..just total acceptance, as everything seemed to just let go and enter the flow…teaching us all the true meaning of weathering the storm.
- Storms Will Come (alifearchitect.wordpress.com)
- An Intimate Relationship with Yourself (shambhala.com)
- The Storms Of Life (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)
- Mead on Sandy and Perspective (commentarymagazine.com)
- Put your best foot forward (vtwest.wordpress.com)
- Please forgive me… (thedailysisterhood.wordpress.com)
I look at you and become..disgusted
like a mother who looks
I take it out on you
when I’m the one to
for the mess
over the years
heaps of past tense
that defined a person
who no longer lives
you remain with the hopes
that she’ll return for you
we’ve waited together
I know she’s moved
I become exhausted
every time I try to tell
knowing I’ll have to
pick up the pieces..
to make me whole again…
that i allow the baggage
one more night
all the while
under a pile
Thank you Stephanie for the Friday Writing Prompt! Today’s writing prompt was inspired by one of my favorite authors on writing Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones (I am currently reading her book, Wild Minds). For today’s writing prompt, just take a breath and start writing, bring the moment you’re in to conscious life.
I am sitting at my office desk. Writing is preferred, but typing provides me with the disguise of appearing to be engaged in the interest of my employer, rather than that of my own. Placed on top of the computer docking station, is a magazine clipping that never made it to my vision board which states, “You are here” it is my compass back into the present moment.
Discussions of both business and pleasure blend while traveling throughout the hallway. Harmonic praises fills the space around me, as periodically, I tune into the radio frequencies for intentional inspiration and hope to help keep my thoughts centered…as they often leap from better to worse…while anticipating the best….yet to come.
But now is not the time nor place for daydreaming…for I’ve made an agreement to sell my time by the hour, towards the building of an empire….that has nothing to do with me, nor my purpose.
And though my dreaded presence accompanies me, the visible affirmations throughout my office lend me peace with where I am.
My thoughts now drift to the upcoming Labor Day weekend, and my brief reunion with my husband. In which interludes last longer than the episode, though the tenderness of his kiss lingers just long enough….or for as long as it is requested to.
“My life is not my own, to You I belong, I give myself, I give myself to You” ….I mentally sing along, because I like this song, as it reminds me to surrender, and just be…as with the thought of possibly conceiving our 1st child together next week…finally, I will be ovulating during our next short lived era. And so for the moment, he’s stopped drinking, and I’ve been overdosing on Raspberry Leaf tea, while mentally proclaiming my readiness to conceive…my dreams ….
but now is not the time nor place for daydreaming.
A writer’s job is to make the ordinary come alive, to awaken ourselves to the specialness of simply being. ~Natalie Goldberg
- Weekend Prompting: Tell me where you are right now. (visibleandreal.wordpress.com)
- Responce to introduction – Writing Down the Bones (kstew15.wordpress.com)
- Response to Introduction – Writing Down the Bones (connoblog.wordpress.com)
- Response to “First Thoughts” and “Writing is not a McDonald’s Hamburger” -Writing Down the Bones (connoblog.wordpress.com)
- Top 50 Labor Day Weekend Events (thegypsynurse.com)
- Response to Introduction- Writing Down the Bones (welcometognarnia.wordpress.com)
- Do you work with #writingprompts ? (zaraawritingstory.wordpress.com)
- My Notebooks & I (run-a-bout.blogspot.com)
- 10 Writing Prompts pt. 16 (writingstruggles.com)
My long distance hubby, who’s had a bit to drink tonight, fell asleep on me…well actually, he was hanging in there..slurring and all, I told him to go to bed, and he accepted without hesitation..and so for the 1st Friday night in a long time, I am enjoying listening to Pandora’s Instrumental Hip Hop (i.e. Pete Rock, J Dilla), over a glass of Riesling…
With the candles lit behind me on the headboard, I’m up against my bed chair (rest)..breaking in my new back to ‘school‘ pen and notebook on top of my lap desk…it feels so good to let out this pent up energy…and residues of depression……
I know, I didn’t tell you….
Thank Goodness for these freestyles (song/hip hop writing), thoughts…and revelations…
My vision board fell down from the wall months ago, had her sitting behind my bookshelf ever since..I took her out tonight…
While looking deeply into her strength as she stares back…from the pillow next…I can feel she wants to get cozy..my eyes swell with gladness, as I now remember what was forgotten….
Have a great weekend! As in great love…with great healing power.