A Course in Miracles, A Return to Love, eye of the storm, faith, God, Hurricane Sandy, inspiration, Intimate relationship, life's lesson, nature, photography, relationships, self-reflection, soulmate, weathering the storm, Winter storm
I remember encountering countless storms, in which I would be one of the only few people out and about, risking my life, as I roamed the streets looking for company and entertainment. Restless..I couldn’t sit still with myself..the thought of mother nature forcing me to remain behind a closed door of loneliness made me claustrophobic.
As I sit in reflection during Hurricane Sandy..I think back to the storm of 2010 that changed my life. According to the weather reports, the snow was to start at around 9 PM. I hurried home after work, to pack my bags, for I had planned to stay with this guy I used to see on & off for the past three years…never mind the fact that he didn’t even pretend to be interested in me…or faithfully committed. Yet at the time, I really didn’t love myself. I was unable to realize he only reflected back to me my distorted self perception
A little after 7PM the snow fell, and it began to stick to the ground rather quickly, I had barely got home and hadn’t even began to pack. My intended destination usually took about 30 minutes in route which consisted of neighborhoods, highways, and streets with stop lights…I knew it would be foolish to go considering the road conditions, however, I couldn’t help but to become angry. I felt trapped, I had no where to run to.
Long story short, the next few days indoors literally changed my life. I had no where to go but ‘in’…I discovered parts of me that I had buried in denial. I read, wrote, reflected, meditated..I befriended myself..for the 1st time ever. I immediately entered a period of celibacy from both sex and dating. In the midst of the storm the old me began to die, and by the Spring, it became evident to the people in my life that while they were hibernating, a beautiful transformation had transpired.
After that long bout of celibacy, I finally decided to give this one guy a chance to get to know me better and likewise…he’s now my husband. I will add that, the guy who I spoke of earlier, will always have a place in my heart, I will always love him. I couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate/teacher, for that relationship was the catalyst to the search of a relationship with myself. In Marianne Willamson’s A Return to Love, she explains that when we ask God for an intimate relationship, He may send us relationships that gives us the opportunity to work through the places in ourselves that need to be healed before we’re ready for the deepest intimacy.
And so my advice to whoever is reading: Accept each storm with an open mind…knowing each storm in our life serves a purpose. So in the meantime, turn off the news, or Judge Judy and grab a book, or a board game for the family…take advantage of your immobility! There are so many treasures hidden in the eye of the storm just waiting to be discovered! Yesterday I stood outside, watching the leaves flutter in the sky, like a swarm of butterflies, nature never ceases to amaze me. Even the trees surrendered to the winds…no resistance..just total acceptance, as everything seemed to just let go and enter the flow…teaching us all the true meaning of weathering the storm.
- Storms Will Come (alifearchitect.wordpress.com)
- An Intimate Relationship with Yourself (shambhala.com)
- The Storms Of Life (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)
- Mead on Sandy and Perspective (commentarymagazine.com)
- Put your best foot forward (vtwest.wordpress.com)
- Please forgive me… (thedailysisterhood.wordpress.com)
challenge, God, journal, Julia Cameron, morning meditation, photography, resistance, spirituality, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition], writing, writing challenge
Photo Credit: http://www.myclassroomcommunity.com/?p=28
Now that my life is pretty much free from drama, I became a ‘I write when I feel like it’ type of person, granted, I grab my voice recorder and notebook throughout the day to record partial thoughts, or lyrics to expand on at a later time, I am not currently writing a book, and so I cannot to relate to the pressure that many of you go through. I am failing big time with the morning pages challenge from Julia Cameron‘s book ‘The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity‘. I am to write three pages (it doesn’t help that I started out using a huge journal with single spaced lines) each morning before getting up out of the bed (did I mention I am not a morning person), it is my alone time with God. I am all about morning meditation, but there’s just something about the pen that draws out my vulnerableness. The mornings I show up to write, I am crying before I even reach the third page. I don’t mind crying, I used to cry all the time (always in private). But I think it has led to my resistance as well. I write to God all the time, so I think there’s definitely a connection with my just coming out of the delta state (brainwave frequency associated with deep sleep) and the openness of my emotions. I have read several writing challenge blogs here at wordpress, you’ve inspired me to evaluate my own progress, or lack thereof. I just started the morning pages challenge last weekend (after having bought a new journal for the challenge a month prior), skipped Monday through Friday (though I did reach for the pen a couple of mornings, held it, while going back to sleep), started back up on Saturday, and then when I woke up this morning. I resisted.